it's not personal

Don't take anything personally. This is the second agreement that Miguel Ruiz teaches us.  This is a crucial lesson to help you free yourself. It is also difficult. Miguel speaks about how taking things personally causes a poison to run through us. This poisons our soul, our mind, and our well-being. Humans are selfish, and therefore we think that everything is about me. By thinking this, we are letting the poison run our lives. This poison can be destroyed by not taking things personally. The lesson is that people do and say things because of themselves. Perhaps they are feeling poorly about their life and to help them feel better they share some negative words with you. This may make them feel better, but if we let that poison in, then we start to questions ourselves, our thoughts, our person, and our spirit.  This can lead to conflicts within ourselves and with others.

By not taking things personally, we are able to trust ourselves and live our dream of love and joy. It takes the fear out being you and living your life.  This is because you don't allow yourself to be hurt by others. It doesn't mean that you don't care about others or things in life. It just means that you believe in yourself, trust in yourself, and are able to live as yourself.

I have found this to be quite helpful in my interactions with my son. While he is still quite young, he can say very hurtful things or act out in very hurtful ways. By reminding myself of the second agreement, I am able to listen to him and interact with him knowing that he is hurting for some reason - maybe he did not get the toy he wanted or he has to go to bed. His actions and words are just his expression of anger or disappointment. His words of how mean I am or that he hates me are no longer taken personally by me. I know that he loves me, and that I am a good mom. I know that soon he will return to his more joyful state and he knows that I love him.

This agreement has helped me to learn to look at people and interactions differently. I am able to process that it is not me - most of the time :) - and I am able to work through difficult situations a little easier. It has done wonders for my stress level.

Ready to feel better and see the world from a different perspective? Try living this second agreement and let me know how it feels.